It was that long ago I held a card and embrace my flesh without much shame and ask for money from strangers. The courage wasn’t much of an ordeal, it was the look that pierced through the eyes as the person shake his/her head, declaring a “No, thank you”. The look that don’t even deserve a second peep at the green card. I remember that facial expression, one that defines coldness and emptiness. I ask myself, do I look like a con artist or is RM10 such a big value, an amount so much that requires contemplation ?
I knew walking around in public places, holding the card, I would not feel shame for myself but shame for the society. Perhaps I may be able to raise a decent fund of RM1, filling the 20 rows by walking in the mall or at an eatery. What then ? An accomplishment of RM20, the price of today’s society’s generosity ? I fear to validate the skepticism in me.
Having that fear, I drove my hope aiming to raise fund for the “Walk for Health” from the Speakers of Youth 08 Entrepreneur Convention. Paying RM50 as an entry to the Convention and having the opportunity to interact with the distinguished speakers, I could come home with a decent fund.
Seated down at the convention hall, the speakers took turns sharing their views and perspectives. After each session, the break of 10 minutes took place. This is my moment. I lingered around the stage. The crowd surrounded each speakers and I stood there, holding my green card. “This is really stupid. Give it up. There’s just too many people wanting a piece of the speaker.” My thought lingered on. Feeling at the edge of a ridicule line, I hid the card back into my bag. Then, one of the speaker caught eye to eye with me. Stun, I felt obligated to respond, after all, I have been standing for at least 5 minutes waiting. “Hi, my name is May Leng. ” I spoke pathetically. The speaker smiled. Then, the cat came and stole my voice box. “Can I take a picture with you?” I heard myself said. That moment, I became a fan. A fan of a person I don’t even know the existence until I enrolled myself into the convention. This is utterly disgraceful ! My plot failed miserably. The attempt was futile.
Feeling rather low, I motivated myself to try again. This time, with one of the speaker I’ve met before. Nudging the youth, I was convinced my persuasion power will come back and rescue my dignity. My self ego was buried six feet under. Right place, wrong time.
Finally, at the end of the convention, I drew the final breathe in me and took the leap. I parted the words and I managed to receive a fund of RM100. My sincere gratitude to the youth speaker who’ve answered my plea.
With a bucket of sincerity, I humbly seek for your kindness. If anyone is interested to sponsor my “Walk for Health”, you can do so by emailing me at email@example.com. The event is on this Sunday, 27 January 2008 (7 am). Location is at SS2 RT Centre field. You can join the walk if you wish, its a fun walk with main purpose to raise fund for the Lions Club of KL North.
My last attempt, the voice in me willfully type away. Will you answer to that call ?